The story behind the video.
I am utterly overwhelmed and humbled by the response to this video. At the time I am writing this, it has amassed over 2 million views on Facebook with thousands of comments, messages, and emails to go along with it. I think it’s time to share the story behind this viral video for those who are interested.
***The video has since garnered nearly 100 million view***
I recently was honored with YouTube Next Up. As part of the award I was invited to YouTube Space LA to a one week film school boot camp. We were to film a video there, but no kitchen was available. I was at a loss for what I could possibly film without a kitchen. And that is when the comment happened. It didn’t hurt my feelings and it didn’t surprise me either. Lots of people have commented about my gray hair over the years and I have never been ashamed to share my reasons. I decided to answer the nasty commenter and then share the comment and answer on my personal Facebook page. The response from my friends and family there was overwhelming. At that moment, I knew what my video project would be.
The video was filmed at YouTube Space LA with the assistance of four amazing people (Jay, James, Jerry, and my mentor Julie). I wasn’t sure that I would ever post it anywhere, but used it as an opportunity to experiment with filmmaking and storytelling. I had a script and tried filming that. My amazing friend Jerry told me I needed to do a take where I just spoke from the heart. There I was in a dark room with lights glaring in my eyes. I couldn’t see anyone, just a glint of reflection from the camera lens. I spoke to the camera, to an unknown audience, but mostly to myself. And that’s what you see above.
At the end of the week we screened our projects on a movie theater screen with about 35 people as an audience. I held my breath as mine came on screen, wondering what everyone’s response would be. I felt so naked and vulnerable. It was all so raw. I had no idea I could hold my breath for three and a half minutes! The response from my fellow YouTube creators was overwhelming. They were so encouraging and demanded that I post it. It took me a number of days to actually share it on my YouTube channel. I ended up deciding to share it on Facebook as well at the last minute. I was doing a fundraiser for some friends who are adopting a baby and all the traffic to my blog was being donated to them. I thought the video might generate some more traffic for them. I had no idea that the video would end up being viewed by millions.
The response is humbling. I get comments, messages, and emails of support every few seconds. I am making it a point to read every single one simply because I want to make sure each and every story is heard. I don’t know that I will ever be able to respond to them all and I apologize. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. I have spent the last several days at my kitchen table reading all of your words. I have wept with you. I have laughed with you. And I have been deeply enriched by the entire experience.
People have created a hashtag (#bethatperson) and the message of self love is spreading. BBC has written an article about the video, and people are campaigning to reach The Ellen DeGeneres Show. I don’t even know what to say. I am at a loss for words. How do you respond to accidentally creating a movement like that? I surely don’t know! What I do know is that I am deeply touched and forever changed by this experience. Thank you. That is all I know how to say.
A small note: To the many sincere desires to help my medical condition: Thank you for your concern. I am currently very happy with my current treatment and am not interested in the many offers I am receiving for medical advice.
Beautifully said. I fight the battle of hair color constantly. I would like to be happy with my gray hair and extra pounds, but society doesn’t seem to accept that, especially not single men. One day, one will come along who loves me as I am. This piece has reminded me to simply be authentic and work on the inner beauty which you obviously have much of. Thank you for posting.
You are simply beautiful!! Do not touch your hair (you are probably too busy to touch it up every few weeks anyway!!) I speak from experience, being salt and pepper (predominantly salty) since I was in my 40s, and I get more compliments, in fact I’m told women PAY to have their hair streaked or highlighted to look similar to mine.
But never mind all that. Your response is perfect! I don’t feel sorry for you – I do however feel sorry for the person who made such hurtful comments. Said person is coming at you from a hurtful place, and one wonders, only briefly though, what that hurt may be. To say you resemble a 70 yr old is hurtful to me, only briefly, since I’m 66 and I probably look it. But I’m cool with my looks, and as I face breast cancer again, this time chemo will be part of the recipe, and I know that a bald female looks old too!! haha!! Who cares.
Carry on with your wonderful self, and your wonderful hubby!! Recognize that you are blessed!! And keep on blogging, k?
This is wonderful. So many people need to hear this message. Thank you for doing it.
A fellow greyhaired lady
Never let someone like that viewer knock you in anyway………they have to live with that not you………….YOU GO GIRL
and like duh people pay big money to get fake dyed grey hair so…..like whatever…lol
Your video was wonderful – it was helpful to me andsomething important for all of us to consider, both in terms of how we are judged [and maybe judge] appearances and about how easy it is for negative comments to be posted. I was looking at my frizzy grey hairs this weekend – now after smeones comment to you I shall see them as tinsel.
I also very much appreciated reading your final comment about the desire for people to help you with your health condition. You put it so well. It is hard to say it sometimes when people often are just wishing you well. I have an immune system problem and have health problems for more than a decade and do have to say “I am happy with my treatment at the moment”
I could say so many things in response to this video, but I’ll limit it to a general KUDOS to you for sharing your story, which is SO SPOT ON. I think the success you’ve had with the video is because it resonates with many of us. People have NO idea what problems we’ve had that have led to the decisions we’ve made. And even if they did, really, a few gray hairs? It’s becoming! (Plus really, you look great. And to think you probably eat what you cook – I’d be 700 pounds.)
I recently blogged about two choices I made having turned 40. The first was to start drinking wine (after 23 years of not doing so due to health problems) and the second was to stop dying my hair with blonde streaks to hide the gray ones coming in. I did it for a year, and although I have a great funky cut, I was getting a few comments from people who counted to me that it probably needed some helping along. So this weekend I went to the hairdresser and had her bleach out the colour and make it entirely silvery-blue-gray. HAH!
You are beautiful and inspiring! Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging other women to do the same and stand up for ourselves! I am sorry you have to even deal with these comments but thankfully we serve an incredible God who guides us each step of the way! You are blessed with an amazing hubby too who is a great example. Thank you again for sharing your story…it’s so encouraging!
Thank you for teaching the best lesson ever!
You are perfect. Don’t change a thing.
Wanted to share what I wrote on Facebook – you are an earthly angel:
Something about this message resonated with me today. This last November 10th, my 36th birthday, I celebrated 18 years being cancer free, and 18 years of life that could have easily been taken away from me. I am human, I make mistakes, and there are days when I hate my body and all of the scars, stretch marks and LIFE MARKS that I have. I, however, am quickly humbled to know that my body has achieved more, and given much more time than my friends who went through treatment with me, and did not make it. The different types of treatment that I had could have left me unable to bear children, and yet I have four healthy beautiful children to call my own. My body gave birth to those children, how dare I shame it.
My life is so blessed because of the gift of life I received 36 years ago (thanks, mama – Julie), and then again 18 years ago. The time to love ourselves is NOW, and the time to love other people, ALL people, is now also. My goal is to leave this life with the sure and absolute knowledge that I am a Child of God who has served her Father well and LOVED his children just as He would.
SHARE LIGHT THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!
I am sure someone has more eloquently said this than I will but I did want to take the time to say I’m sorry that you had to experience the negative comments about your hair. Your response was very well put and I was impressed with your story self acceptance. When someone says something hurtful to me I try and keep in mind all the joy that I have in my life because they must not have it in their’s. Something positive to come out of this because now I have another chef to follow.