In a small mixing bowl stir together coconut milk, Thai red curry paste, fish sauce, rice vinegar, lemon grass paste, ginger, garlic, red pepper flakes, and soy sauce. Pour over meat.
Cook on low 8 hours. Shred meat and then squeeze in lime juice before serving.
Make the slaw by combining the cabbage, cilantro, carrots, and green onions in a mixing bowl. Pour lime juice, rice vinegar, and fish sauce over slaw mixture. Drizzle honey over slaw and stir to combine.
Serve meat hot on buns topped with a heaping pile of the slaw.